{Birth Story} : Between Two Worlds: Molly's Homebirth
A home water birth after caesarean, in Sarah's words
This is the story of the birth of my second baby, my beautiful daughter Molly.
I want to preface this by quickly touching on the birth of my first baby, Max. I was supported beautifully by Maya on the caseload midwife program at Westmead Hospital and was interested in a public homebirth but unfortunately didn’t meet the criteria. I laboured at home and hospital with Max and everything was going beautifully until he turned posterior during labour and I eventually chose an epidural. His heart rate was elevated and then his lactate levels were extremely high so a code critical caesarean was called and the room flooded with people immediately. I was rushed to theatre and didn’t have enough time for the epidural to numb me fully so I had to be put under general anesthetic and separated from my husband. Max was born and had to be resuscitated at birth. He had meconium aspiration and was admitted to NICU. I didn’t get to meet him until about 6 hours after he was born and didn’t get to hold him until he was 3 days old, only for one hour, due to a chest drain he had in. We didn’t hold him again until he was 5 days old as he was then sent to a different NICU for an unrelated issue which required emergency surgery at 4 days old. Max stayed in NICU until he was 16 days old and we had truly the most harrowing experience there in every way possible.
Max is now a happy, energetic and hilarious 2.5 year old!
I had a pretty good pregnancy with Molly. I was a bit sick, not as sick as I was with Max and I did get some medication this time. I feel like such a wimp saying that I got medication because I've had friends and family who've been so much more sick and have battled on without medication, but it is so hard being pregnant with a toddler, working and not feeling well. So I had some medication this time early on just to make me feel a little bit better here and there, it wasn't something I was taking every day. My pregnancy was pretty stress-free except I did get some quite severe rib pain which took a little bit of time to figure out the cause of. Eventually we figured out that it was gallstones which I had surgery for when Molly was three months old. We found out early on with the NIPT test that we were having a baby girl this time, which was a real surprise, we both thought we were going to be boy parents!
I knew this time that I really wanted to have a home birth. So it was something that I discussed with my husband Alex really early on. Considering what happened with the birth of Max, he was a little bit apprehensive. I was hoping to have more time to try and convince him to get on board with a homebirth but we had to make the decision quickly as there are so few homebirth midwives in our area and they book out very early.
I talked to some private midwives, Liz and Rhi, who came to our house so we could meet them and talk through any concerns (mostly from Alex) about having a homebirth. I actually had complete faith that everything would go smoothly this time around, even before falling pregnant with Molly. The midwives told us that the best chance of me getting the VBAC I wanted so badly (and had been saying that I wanted since the day Max was born) would be at home. And I knew that having a VBAC in hospital would not be a peaceful environment, unlike most of my labour in hospital was with Max before things went pear-shaped. Both of us also did a lot of listening to the Great Birth Rebellion podcast, particularly episodes about choosing a homebirth and how homebirth midwives handle emergencies.
Another factor in the decision making process was our finances. I was not eligible for a publicly funded homebirth being a VBAC so the only option was to go with private midwives. Of course they deserve every cent and more but it makes it tricky financially when you’re preparing to have a year off work. But we decided to go for it and went with shared care between Liz and Rhi.
I felt so much bigger and heavier this time around than I did with Max and I was sure that this baby would be a lot bigger. I also had a really strong feeling that Molly would have brown hair and that I would have a very quick labour this time. I even thought that the baby might come before the midwives arrived. And I kept thinking that the baby was going to come early because I felt so much slower and heavier this time around, but Molly was born at 39+5, the day before my due date.
We had gastro in our house just before she was born. Everyone had it, but Alex copped it the worst. He was very unwell for about a week and I just kept thinking “This baby cannot come while we've got this sickness in our house.” and “How is he going to support me if I go into labour tonight?”.
So I think when we finally started feeling better, I relaxed and subconsciously allowed myself to go into labour! Alex had the Monday and Tuesday off work that week and then he went back on Wednesday so the house was just starting to return to normal that day. It had been such a mess and I was just starting to tidy up on that Wednesday. I had been having Braxton Hicks a bit more than usual and a bit of lower back pain that day. I had a visit from Rhi that day where I mentioned those things and she said I looked too beautiful to be having the baby that day and I wasn’t puffy enough, haha!
I had a nap with Max that day because I think I had a feeling that something could be happening, but I was gaslighting myself and convincing myself it was nothing, like I did with Max. Alex came home in the afternoon and I dropped some hints that something could be happening but I didn’t want to actually say it and jinx myself!
Alex went outside to talk to our neighbour and before he went out I said “Okay I'm going to cook dinner.”. He was outside for a while and I had decided instead to set up my birth space and tidy up just in case the baby came that night. So he came back inside and he definitely knew something was up when I was hanging birth affirmations on the wall and said “Let’s get pho for dinner” because that’s what we ate when I was in labour with Max! It’s such a nourishing, warming meal for when you’re about to have a baby!
We put Max to bed and I watched TV for a bit while bouncing on the birth ball. The pains were pretty mild and not very regular. I tried to get some sleep but I couldn’t get comfortable so I got back up. I still wasn’t convinced that I was in labour but I was pretty sure, so I took a photo of my pregnant belly because I thought it would be my last chance with this belly. I eventually realised I was in labour as the contractions were intensifying and getting more regular so I woke Alex up at 1am to put the TENS machine on for me.
He was running around getting everything set up. He was trying to fill up the birth pool and then running over to support me during a contraction but I said “I’m fine, they’re not too bad yet, just get everything set up and then you can help me.”. Alex did a beautiful job of supporting me in my labour just like he did the first time.
Alex called Liz who was to be our main midwife as she lived closer. We both chatted to her on the phone and she said to stay in touch but that she didn’t need to come yet.
Alex’s mum Robyn and our photographer Nadia came over. We called Robyn to lay in bed with Max to settle him if he woke up as we wouldn’t be able to. We have a small house and I ended up making some very loud noises but he didn’t wake up at all until the morning!
I was really keen to get in the water as soon as the birth pool was ready, I really enjoyed being in the water, it felt really good for me in both of my labours.
The contractions continued to intensify and Liz arrived at around 4am. She checked baby’s heart rate and it was a bit high which really freaked me out considering what happened with Max. So that snapped me out of the labour zone temporarily and I thought “Is this just what happens with all of my babies, is the same thing going to happen this time?”. But thankfully her heart rate returned to normal after I got out of the water and it turned out that the water was too hot! They fixed that and I hopped back in when I could.
Max woke up in the morning I think maybe around 6:30 ish and Robyn brought him out to say hello, I was out of the water which was nice so I could give him a big cuddle. Those are some of my favourite photos that Nadia captured of my labour and a special memory I will never forget, getting to give my first baby a big kiss and cuddle before he became a big brother. Robyn got him ready and took him to daycare and he actually had his daycare photos taken that day so we have those special photos of him on the day he became a big brother!
I got back in the water and during a contraction I heard and felt a big pop which was my waters breaking. Up until that point I kept thinking that surely the contractions couldn’t get more intense but WOW they were so incredibly intense after that!! I had gone from making a mooing sound like a cow to making a deep growling roar (which just happened, I couldn’t control the sounds I was making - I love how birth is so primal like that).
We live quite close to our neighbours and we had informed them beforehand that we were planning a homebirth which was lucky because they did indeed hear me roaring!
I was a little bit worried beforehand that Max might be scared hearing those sounds but he wasn’t at all. The midwives said that little kids usually just seem to know instinctually that the sounds of childbirth are normal and nothing to be afraid of and that turned out to be so true.
Rhi headed over after my waters broke and it was lovely to have her added layer of support. When she could sense I was getting close to pushing, she said something like it might feel better using my energy to bear down. I didn’t experience an “urge” to push - probably because I’m too impatient to wait for the urge - but when I started bearing down with each contraction it definitely felt right. It was like a lightbulb moment and I went from just getting through each contraction to actually using them to get my baby out. And at that point it stopped feeling painful and I was enjoying the experience, pushing was the best bit by far!! I am so impatient and just wanted the baby to be born NOW! I kept asking the midwives how many more contractions until she would be born, which of course they couldn’t answer, haha.
Liz and Rhi suggested that getting out of the water might help her head to come down so I did that. The contractions came super close together each time I got out of the pool. I tried one contraction in a deep squat in the door frame which was SO intense and I couldn’t do any more than that. I sat on the toilet for a few contractions and Molly’s head started to crown which Nadia took an amazing photo of!
I managed to walk back to the pool which was very difficult with a head between my legs but it was thankfully only a few metres away. I hopped back in the water and kept pushing with absolutely all of my might with each contraction. I was kneeling on my knees and leaning forward a little. The midwives suggested I might like to try bringing one of my legs up which I did. I experienced a little bit of the “ring of fire” but it was nothing really compared to the pain I had felt up to that point.
I was expecting for Molly’s head to be born in one contraction and to then push her body out in the next one, but once I pushed her head out and the contraction was still going, I thought I’ll keep going, again being so impatient, and pushed her body out straight after!
I leaned back and saw my beautiful baby girl’s face under the water! I think it was a little bit of a surprise to everybody when they saw she had been completely born because they couldn’t really see what was going on with the position I was in and the water being a bit murky. The plan was for Alex to catch her but that wasn’t required in the end!
Just for a second I admired her from under the water. My beautiful friend Maya (who was my midwife with Max) had suggested to me beforehand that I might like to try and take in that moment of our baby being between two worlds. I brought her up out of the water and got to enjoy that moment of meeting her that I had anticipated for 9 months and never got to experience with Max!
Getting to see Molly’s face for the first time, kiss her, cuddle her, tell her I love her and welcome her to the world in my lounge room was such a sacred moment that I will never forget.
It was as beautiful an experience as I could have hoped for and it felt like a dream come true.
I love that I was free to just do my thing without vaginal examinations or people trying to touch me or my baby while she was being born. I love that I was able to get myself into whichever positions felt most comfortable and that I caught my baby myself!
I was holding Molly and soaking her in, she didn’t cry and she was very alert. She was coughing quite a bit just after she was born which worried me a little but the midwives reassured me that she was fine. She was nice and pink and perfectly healthy! I had a bit of a hoarse voice myself from the noise I was making!
She had a fair bit of vernix on her and she had a very curly cord. I was so happy to see her cord and placenta this time because I never got to see them with the birth of Max. Molly was born at 9.38am (8 minutes after Max). So in the end it was quite quick but it didn't feel like that to me at the time and it wasn't as quick as I had imagined it would be. She was born with brown hair- I was right! Molly weighed 4.08 kilos. She was 1cm taller than Max but a whole kilo heavier, I knew she was going to be a good size! Max is still a little guy and they share clothes and nappies now at 6 months and 2.5 years old!
I sat in the water for a while enjoying my precious new bundle. Molly latched on in the water after about 20 minutes, she was such a good feeder and always has been. The placenta came after a little while and came out with one push so that was pretty easy. The contractions then stopped but there was a bit of membrane that needed to be pulled out.
I moved to the lounge and the midwives had a look for any tears. I had none which I was very pleased with especially considering how impatient I was to push her out! I just had two small grazes. I sat there snuggled up with Molly and had some porridge and a hot drink brought to me.
Alex then had his first cuddle with Molly while I had a shower and put some fresh new pyjamas on. The midwives cleaned everything up and left us there snuggled on the couch with our brand new baby! It was the best experience and I could never ever go back to choosing a hospital birth after that!
Your birth story
Planning a homebirth, or hoping for a VBAC like Sarah?
I document births at home and in hospital across Sydney, the Central Coast and the Northern Beaches, from the first quiet hours of labour to the first cuddles on the couch.
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